About a month ago, I was having outbreaks and was going back and forth to the doctor. The doctor couldn’t tell me anything but to “play trial and error” with the foods I was eating and my laundry detergent…and he gave me a steroid shot and ointment and sent me by my merry way.The steroid shot and ointment helped for a little while, but before long, the outbreaks were back.
So I “played trial and error”….as the doctor suggested….and I finally figured out that I am allergic to nuts….and I love nuts. (Inserts Sad Face)
Saturday morning, my mom had a bag of Orchard Fresh Praline Pecans. I kept looking at the bag. I wanted some oh so badly, but I couldn’t help but to think about how I’ve been “break out free” since I’ve cut them out my diet.
….but I still wanted them…although I knew they would break me out.
Finally, I gave in. I thought, “I’ll eat just one.” Unfortunately, that one turned into too many.
Today is Tuesday and guess what I have?
Now, you’re probably thinking, “That’s dumb. Why would you consume something you know you’re allergic to?”
Why do we stay in situations that we know aren’t good for us or why do we have an “appetite” for what we don’t need. It seems as if we always want what…. and who we don’t need…and what…and who we need, we don’t want. We can know something is bad for us, but we will still consume it and disregard the consequences that will follow. There were other snacks to choose from, but I “had” to have those nuts…and since I had to “have” them, I’m itchy and miserable.
Hmmmm- Food for Thought
What..or who are you “allergic” to?
What…or who is causing an “outbreak” in your life?
Testimony- Very Transparent
Listen, you don’t have look like what your situation is. When you are anchored in the situations and circumstances in your life, you’ll forever be up one day and down the next. Your security and trust have to rest in God and in God only. Your situation and circumstances change constantly; God doesn’t.
The latter part of November and December have been tough for me financially, but see, my security doesn’t rest in my finances. So my mood never changed. I never asked anybody for anything. Tithes were paid. I wasn’t hungry, and all my bills were either paid or accounted for. So, I was grateful.
Here is what I prayed- “Lord, I’m not asking You for more money. Just make what I have stretch until my next pay period.”
See, so many times we get in the habit of asking and wanting more that we neglect being grateful for what we already have and being content right where we are.
……and when I prayed that prayer, I released it. It was no longer my battle.
See, we have to make up our minds. Either we’re going to trust Him or we’re not. We can’t worry and worship at the same time.
Here is it two days before my pay day, and He stretched it. I should’ve been in the negative two weeks ago….BUT GOD!
$30.00 may be my account balance, but my FAITH is beyond a million.
Stop putting so much FAITH in temporary things, and stop looking like what you’re going through! If I didn’t tell anybody that I was broke, they definitely wouldn’t have known. I was the same worry-free, carefree Erica that I am when my account has thousands.
…because I TRUST GOD!!!!
So many people are walking around looking “snatched” on the outside but are torn up on the inside.
“How do you know, Erica?”
Because I was once that person. I wanted people to think I had it all together, but I was crying myself to sleep every night, struggling with low self-esteem, suffering from depression, and battling with suicidal thoughts. I was in a dark place and I was doing whatever I could to numb the pain and fill the void- drinking, sex, jumping in and out of relationships that weren’t headed anywhere, and spending money I didn’t have.
….and I only felt worse. So I’d indulge more.
More drinking, more sex, more relationships, and spending more money I didn’t have.
…and I felt even worse. So I’d indulge a little more, a little more, and a little more.
I remember one night, I was “balled up” in the middle of my floor crying. I told God that if He didn’t take my life, I would. I just wanted the pain to end. I wanted the tears to stop. I wanted to get off the emotional rollercoaster. I just wanted to feel “normal” again.
Then, in the midst of my crying. I heard His voice- “I cant heal what you won’t reveal.”
That day, I stopped pretending. I gave it all to Him- every broken piece…
…and He took those pieces and built a MASTERPIECE.
Listen! Stop pretending. It’s okay to be broken. It’s okay not to have it all together. It’s okay to cry. It’s perfectly okay. In my brokenness is where I found Jesus. Give him your pieces and let Him move you from pieces to PEACE.
-An excerpt from my book, From Pieces to Peace
(Last one I’ll share before it’s released.)